Rest in pieces

I just read the best obit of Jerry Falwell that I could imagine, by Christopher Hitchens. A taste:

"The discovery of the carcass of Jerry Falwell on the floor of an obscure office in Virginia has almost zero significance, except perhaps for two categories of the species labeled "credulous idiot." The first such category consists of those who expected Falwell (and themselves) to be bodily raptured out of the biosphere and assumed into the heavens, leaving pilotless planes and driverless trucks and taxis to crash with their innocent victims as collateral damage. This group is so stupid and uncultured that it may perhaps be forgiven. It is so far "left behind" that almost its only pleasure is to gloat at the idea of others being abandoned in the same condition."

It only gets better from there.

For a complete(ish) listing of Hitchens articles, look here, it's some good readin'.

Save us Plankton!

On the theme of climate whatnot, I recently came accross an interesting article in Wired about a new method of modeling phytoplankton which should have quite an impact on the long-term climage change predictions. I.e., make those predictions less of a wild-ass guess. Faster please.

Which reminds me,Plankton farming strikes me as a reasonable way to take care of that CO2 we're pumping out, keeping this in mind of course:

"Some Silicon Valley technocrats are betting that it just might. In an effort to ameliorate the effects of global warming, several groups are working on ventures to grow vast floating fields of plankton intended to absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and carry it to the depths of the ocean. It is an idea, debated by experts for years, that still sounds like science fiction — and some scholars think that is where it belongs.

But even though many questions remain unanswered, the first commercial project is scheduled to get under way this month when the WeatherBird II, a 115-foot research vessel, heads out from its dock in Florida to the Galápagos and the South Pacific...

The idea is similar to planting forests full of carbon-inhaling trees, but in desolate stretches of ocean. “This is organic gardening, not rocket science,” said Russ George, the chief executive of Planktos, the company behind the WeatherBird II project. “Can it possibly be as easy as we say it is? We’re about to find out.”

For Mr. George, this is not just science and environmentalism but business, possibly big business. Around the world, new treaties and regulations are forcing corporations to look for ways to offset their carbon emissions, and Planktos and its competitors may be able to charge millions of dollars for their services."

Global Warming: Post Shark Jump

More evidence from the New York Times that in the marketplace of ideas climate change hysteria is increasingly being put in the half-price bin:

I was running errands the other day when a pleasant young woman with a
clipboard tried to stop me. “Do you have a moment for the environment, sir?” she
asked.“No,” I barked as I evaded her, “I don’t!” I felt guilty, but also
vindicated. I mean, of course I have a moment for the environment. Saying you’re
not for the environment right now is like saying you’re not for education,
children, world peace, Africa or a cure for cancer. These days you would have to
be a fool or a lobbyist to dismiss global warming and natural resource issues.
But is it possible that all this marketing is cheapening the cause?Must every
hotel, restaurant, shampoo, detergent and beverage that is environmentally
responsible talk so much about it? Yuban “sustainable development” coffee. Paul
Mitchell “protecting our planet for generations to come.” Levi’s Eco jeans.How
much green-standing can we stand? It’s enough hot air to melt Antarctica. In no
time, an inconvenient truth has become an obnoxious one. But from what I can
see, there’s as much selling as thinking going on. The other night I attended a
magazine party in a photography studio that had been turned into an elaborate
garden with 10-foot-high privet hedges fashioned from shrubbery trucked up from
the South. After the party, the walls of greens went into a chipper for
recycling.“It’s giving back to the environment in a good way,” the decorator
told me.

De-evolution of a Beard

I've been meaning to post this for a month and haven't gotten around to
it, so allow me to present the creative trimming of a winter coat.


This is kind of a scary picture, but unfortunately
the only one I took of myself with the whole deal. My goal: to attain
the longest chin whiskers possible during the official winter months.



This look could be categorized as "Olde Tyme Bartender" or US President circa 1860-1900. I sported this business for one entire day and it felt ridiculously uncomfortable. I spent the entire day desperately wanting this off of my face.


This one was alright. Not nearly as uncomfortable as
the previous incarnation, but still weird (for me at least). This went
on for about five days. Apparently, it lookeddisappointingly normal.


This is only slightly different than the last. Notice the subtle narrowing of the handle's?


And here, finally, is the full blown Ben-stache. Yay.

GPA and SAT Imply False Precision and Authority

I was very amused to hear that my favorite alma mater is thinking about discontinuing its cooperation with well known college rankings magazines. Of course the decision is based only on the highest principles. Of course….[cough]

So in light of this brave stand I hope they are willing to reciprocate the trust the absence of impartial data demands of prospective students. Why I think the following would only be fair:

Dear Admissions Committee:

Thank you for your inquiry about my high school and SAT transcripts. It is no mistake that you have not yet received them. I have decided not to recognize the false precision and authority of these artificial measures. Your admissions selection process is too important to be based on data from an outside, synthetic measure that is so fundamentally flawed and incomplete. Does a weather report convey all that is beautiful about a sunny fall afternoon in Vermont? Of course not! A four digit number is just as insufficient to describe all the character, culture and beauty contained in all the welcoming hallways and anterooms that dwell within my mind. Look over there past my shrine to Donald DeFreeze. There is a tire swing hanging from rafters reclaimed from an old barn with multi-hued bears frolicking with much merriment. Why even my whimsy exudes acceptance and tolerance! Oh if only some day I could have friends of such diversity in which to share my gaiety. But I digress…the SAT is nothing more than a construct of the corporate machine which seeks to grade our wonderful, unique, free-thinking minds like cuts of beef. Like a blast of poisonous carbon monoxide thousands of for-profit corporations like Kaplan and Princeton Review seek to extract payment with the promise that we can outperform our peers. How is it moral to take money to make someone else a loser? I suppose others can receive absolution from that pagan creed of Capitalism but I know as Friends we’re simply too good for that. It’s a pity others can’t be as concerned about social-justice as we are. There are just so many greed-battered souls that litter this Caligula’s wasteland of Amerikkka it shouldn’t be a surprise that I had so many as my high school teachers. So oppressed were they by this controlling, paternalistic society and so deprived of the sensitive, worldly and engaging re-education within your walls are they that they seek to damn all free spirits in their charge to their sad fate. As my llama power animal has often told me, hurt people hurt people. In consideration of this truth I proudly view my grade point average with the same regard as a tattoo marking the forearm of a Survivor; a mark of unspeakable oppression.

Absent of my brands of conformity I’m sure you’d like to have some information about me in which to base your consideration. I descend from principled, non-conformist, English stock who were among the first to lead the fight against slavery. Through determination and hard work they left my parents with a legacy of world renown. My parents did their best to build on what their progenitors left them and pushed forward with an agenda of non-violent, compassionate progressivism. As they were somewhat less industrious than their forbearers their accomplishments were rather modest but their passion was just as strong! My upbringing in this environment has influenced me greatly. I value peace in this world more than anything. So much so that I sold all the land my grandparents left me to allow my family and I to tour the country converting the ignorant to our culture of peace in our new bio-diesel bus and help fund a yearly trip to Palestine to help me understand peace even better. Included with this letter is a tastefully designed view book constructed of paper I made myself filled with autumn pictures of me trying to impose peace on others through high decibel wisdom and colorful signage. I also included a video of me helping my Palestinian peace friend Khaled build the beautiful, traditional “Katyusha” firework for a peace festival in his basement.

Some lesser institutions of learning might receive the enclosed with some skepticism. "How can any of this information be verified? Even if it is true, how does this demonstrate that you've received a legitimate education? ", they may ask. To which I'll respond with righteous outrage, "Did you not read my essay on my impressive values? Did you not see the pictures of me with friends of many colors and creeds...smiling....in the fall!? Are you so obtuse as to not see that my quality is self evident?!" I know you will let me tell you the story of me using my tongue of tolerance rather than the imposed language of greed to which other institutions will only listen.

Thank you for your consideration,
Earl M. Coolege

Update: I wonder if this is the type of student they're now shooting for? They seem to approve....

Thailand's off the list

As a rule I despise country music. In the rare instances I actually allow myself to pay attention when it's played in grocery stores or Jiffy Lubes I always find I can predict what the lyrics are going to be despite never hearing the song before. Unfortunately doing so triggers a deep sense of self loathing because somehow these odes to morons apparently somehow resonates with me. The rather crappy movie The Beach was sort of the same way. As a rule I also hate hippies and this movie was all about hippies being hippies but for some reason the movie made we want to visit Bankok until the following changed my mind:

Khao San Road is where WTO protesters go to vacation. It is a collection of
cheap hostels, Internet cafes, semi-legit massage parlors, disreputable travel
agents, nightclubs, and endless stalls manned by Thai merchants willing to cater
to the desires of the First World's spiritually confused, culturally eclectic
youths. And what do they want? Primarily, tattoos, henna, and dreadlocks. As I
walked past a Thai grandmother braiding Bob Marley hair into a twentysomething
Japanese head while a Thai man was needling Superman's symbol onto his shoulder,
I thought: If this is where peace, love, and understanding lead, then let's give
war a chance.

UPDATE:

The Crawford Peace House recently lost its corporate charter with the state, and a former member who now has rights to the name is threatening legal action because the group continues operating.

Sara L. Oliver and some others are calling for a state investigation as to why only $14,700 is now in its bank account, saying tens of thousands donated during Cindy Sheehan's 2005 war protest are unaccounted for.

Why the surprise? Everyone knows Cindy Sheehan needs to train with Bangkok masters for her Ping-Pong Show for Peace.

Andrew's gonna love this

I followed a link from Boing Boing (A Directory of Wonderful things) that featured this picture of Hillary lookin freaky. But things get really good if you follow through to Something Awful. Some folks have photoshopped her head into all manner of amusing settings.

This one was my favorite.


"watching her dreams of an atmosphere on mars fade away, or is it just a memory???"

Update: So apparently there's no linking from wherever that one came from. That's sad cause it was damn funny. This one will do however.



Updated update: Got around the no linking thing so here you go...

Karla's blog

Though she hasn't posted anything lately, Karla has a blog and you should check it out. It's called That Crafty Karla. According to some, it's more interesting than this one. But then their biases are rather transparent. It certainly makes up for this blog's gross neglect of crafty things.

Another NASA Jackass

For the last few years this jackass has been at the vanguard of those alleging that the Bush administration is waging a “war on science” by “stifling” views on climate change counter to their own. He accused the Bush administration of threatening him through mysterious back channels and forcing NASA to deny him access to the media*:

He fell out of favor with the White House in 2004 after giving a speech at the
University of Iowa before the presidential election, in which he complained that
government climate scientists were being muzzled and said he planned to vote for
Senator John Kerry.

[…]

He said he was particularly
incensed that the directives had come through telephone conversations and not
through formal channels, leaving no significant trails of documents.

[…]

After that speech and the release of data by Dr.
Hansen on Dec. 15 showing that 2005 was probably the warmest year in at least a
century, officials at the headquarters of the space agency repeatedly phoned
public affairs officers, who relayed the warning to Dr. Hansen that there would
be "dire consequences" if such statements continued, those officers and Dr.
Hansen said in interviews.

He also compared the White House to a “propaganda office” and said "It seems more like Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union than the United States."

Inconvenient to this conspiracy narrative was a revelation yesterday that during the time period where Dr. Hansen alleges being “muzzled” he participated in over 1,400 (!!!) on the job interviews and that the real reason he was denied permission to give an interview to NPR (the only documented “muzzling” – he proceeded to give 15 more interviews later that month) was that NASA was sick of him giving interviews all the time without following procedure rather than doing his job.

Mr. Deutsch, who was 23 at the time, said Mr. Hansen was prohibited from doing
the interview because of his prior refusal to notify NASA officials when he was
granting interviews, not for political reasons.
Citing
what he called his "constitutional right" to give interviews, Mr. Hansen
admitted violating NASA's press policy but defended his actions.

*Note how the NYTimes never questions Hansen’s version of events and treats them as fact despite there being no known evidence to support the allegations. In addition, prior to this article he was a paid advisor to Gore’s Inconvenient Truth and was given $250,000 by Teresa Heinz Kerry’s Heinz foundation. Nothing to see here…

jackass

Gavin Schmidt, one of the more odious advocates for radical political and economic solutions to the “Global Warming Crisis” before a recent debate on the subject:

I'm quite looking forward to this, but I have to admit to conflicting thoughts. Does participating help perpetuate the idea that global warming per se is still up for debate? Is this kind of rhetorical jousting useful for clarifying issues of science that most people there will only superficially grasp? Can this be entertaining and educational? Or does it just validate the least serious opposition? Is it simply a waste of time that would be better spent blogging?

It certainly appeared like quite the opportunity to preach to the choir: NPR hosted the event and produced an audience that agreed with his position nearly 2-1 (57-30%).

Except that by night’s end the previously friendly audience didn’t seem to find the Gavin’s arguments all that convincing with only 42% still agreeing (46% disagreeing) with his apocalyptic assessment.

Naturally the reaction to his poor showing has been to criticize the intelligence of the audience and lament that “Science isn’t a popularity contest”. However when considering that Gavin and his “scientific consensus” have the news media, Hollywood and the EU on their side one must begin to question if salesmanship is really the problem and conclude that they’re just peddling crap.

Update: Science isn't a popularity contest

I can't tell them apart!

Global Warming jumps the shark…

NY Times is walking their rhetoric on the subject back.

“Hardly a week goes by,” Dr. Peiser said, “without a new research paper that
questions part or even some basics of climate change theory,” including some
reports that offer alternatives to human activity for global warming. Geologists
have documented age upon age of climate swings, and some charge Mr. Gore with
ignoring such rhythms.
“Nowhere does Mr. Gore tell his audience that all of
the phenomena that he describes fall within the natural range of environmental
change on our planet,” Robert M. Carter, a marine geologist at James Cook
University in Australia, said in a September blog. “Nor does he present any
evidence that climate during the 20th century departed discernibly from its
historical pattern of constant change.” In October, Dr. Easterbrook made similar
points at the geological society meeting in Philadelphia. He hotly disputed Mr.
Gore’s claim that “our civilization has never experienced any environmental
shift remotely similar to this” threatened change. Nonsense, Dr. Easterbrook
told the crowded session. He flashed a slide that showed temperature trends for
the past 15,000 years. It highlighted 10 large swings, including the medieval
warm period. These shifts, he said, were up to “20 times greater than the
warming in the past century.” Getting personal, he mocked Mr. Gore’s
assertion that scientists agreed on global warming except those industry had
corrupted. “I’ve never been paid a nickel by an oil company,” Dr. Easterbrook
told the group. “And I’m not a Republican.”
Biologists, too, have gotten into
the act. In January, Paul Reiter, an active skeptic of global warming’s effects
and director of the insects and infectious diseases unit of the Pasteur
Institute in Paris, faulted Mr. Gore for his portrayal of global warming as
spreading malaria.
“For 12 years, my colleagues and I have protested against
the unsubstantiated claims,” Dr. Reiter wrote in The International Herald
Tribune. “We have done the studies and challenged the alarmists, but they
continue to ignore the facts.”

So like those foreign exchange students in high school sporting the acid wash jeans it appears the Europeans have again bought heavily into a fad that has likely run its course.

Milwaukgineering

Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator - The funniest bloopers are right here

Of Democrats and Dialect

This weekend in Selma Alabama while commemorating the Selma March Barack Obama, who is as southern as I am, increasingly picked up the cadences of a evangelist preacher. Hillary sounded like an alternating mix of Foghorn Leghorn, Rosanne and Nell. I was forced to relive this inexplicably asinine behavior repeatedly while listening to NPR gush at Hillary and Barak’s thoughtfulness and political acumen for using tragedy opportunistically while running errands this weekend. Over and over I wondered why southern black people don’t feel slighted when people who don’t typically talk like them start doing a bad MLK or Mammy impression. If Bush started talking like one of the Mario Brother’s when addressing the Order Sons of Italy in America, delivered a speech pronouncing his “W’s” as “V’s” when addressing Germans in Milwaukee or larding up a town hall meeting with “you betcha’s” with a clothes-pin on his nose in Brainerd would people hoot and holler in appreciation? Probably not. People would probably rationally assume the man was brain damaged or an unbelievable fraud.

Big Fat Phoney

This has been getting a lot of play on drudge and Instapundit but I still feel the need to share an observation. A friend of the family built a 7000sqft+ home in Wisconsin a few years ago. Despite being over 3 times larger than my house (2200sqft) his average monthly energy costs are only 60 percent more than mine ($200 vs $125). His house is well insulated, has good windows and I’m assuming a decent furnace/AC unit but it’s by no means a “green” home with the 3ft mud and straw walls and whatnot. For Gore’s home in much milder Nashville to be using over $1000 in natural gas and $1300 in electricity per month is absolute insanity however many carbon offsets, cfl’s and token solar panels he buys. This is the lifestyle of an energy company profiteer (he is!) seeking to assuage guilt over excess not the worlds most famous environmentalist. It reeks of the elitist hypocrisy: “rules are for the little people”.

I’ll recycle (come on, Kansas screams landfill) and get a Prius when Gore gives up the outdoor hot tubs and the dual Sub Z’s. Till then I’m going to continue pursuing my dreams of having 10 hp for every year I’m alive (I’ll make it). I’ll just plant a tree and get one of those solar cell phone charger thingies.

UPDATE: The Heinz-Kerry’s have also jumped onto the “save the earth” hypocrisy fad. They just wrote this book about:

The environment, and the movement that grew up to protect it, is under attack--concerted and purposeful [!!!].

Of course the Kerry’s are thinking globally but acting locally:

But soon it was clear that maintaining Heinz's property would need more water. So she and her neighbor, Las Vegas casino mogul Steve Wynn, applied for a permit to build a pipeline and take water from the Big Wood River, which is adjacent to her property, up the hill to water her lawn and maintain her landscaped greenery. But the county had just passed a new policy and ordinance preventing that type of transfer.

Marti Bridges, then-water policy head for Idaho Rivers United, told the Boston Herald at the time that the amount of water Heinz and Wynn wanted to divert would fill ten large municipal swimming pools each year, a volume that she said "could be the difference between a fish population making it through summer during spawning or rearing."

Mmm’kay maybe not…but of course Teresa Simões-Ferreira Heinz Kerry is more equal than the unwashed commoners this book is being marketed to.

Based on the leaders the educated left currently holds en vogue I secretly suspect that in their heart of hearts they do not believe in the workers-of-the-world-unite populism they evoke so readily. FDR, Kennedy, Gore, Kerry…Clinton was an aberration (and I’m not certain he’s that idolized). I think on some deep, dark, unacknowledged level they want to be courtesans of King Louis 14^th where they can let live the fantasy there are betters to aspire to and where power is gained through cultural and political influence rather than merit. If the left had any real understanding of the wealthy in this country they’d see that it’s much more mundane and populist than anything they would find in academia or Hollywood. They reject this reality of course because it would mean they are owned by their intellectual and cultural inferiors.

UPDATE: To see just how unevenly the news media holds democrats and republicans accountable to charges of hypocrisy, in six months count how many stories there are about Al's house and compare it to the number of stories about Dick Cheney having lesbian daughter. As of today NPR alone has done 7 stories on this otherwise unremarkable person while right now Al is getting a pass.

Oh what side will I choose?

Yes if everyone shared the genetic material of this unfortunate hipplet I’m confident the human race would end with his generation because there would be 8 billion angst ridden Starbucks baristas and no one to continue the ridiculous rate of technological improvement everyone who is allowed to watch channels other than PBS and ingest refined sugar is awestruck over. Anyone with an iota of perspective would realize that the human race did okay against an ice age, numerous plagues and a cold war. Is 5-6 degrees in 93 years really worth getting your sponge-bob skivvies in a knot?

At least Captain Euro is on his side....

NYTimes Doing Something about their Retards

Apparently the stable of typewriter-chained Corkys maintained by the Sulzberger family is becoming something of an embarrassment. NYTimes Ombudsman/part-time-censor Byron Calame writes the following after the Times publishes a ridiculous story purporting that the majority of women in the US are living single for the first time ever!....after including 15 year olds in their data:

It was discouraging to find yet another article with an unusual angle that
didn’t seem to encounter many skeptical editors as it made its way to the front
page.

As a result:

In the wake of this controversy, Bill Keller, the executive editor, has decided
to meet with staffers with expertise in statistics and demographics to create a
“vetting network to help with the editing of articles dealing with those
subjects,” Craig R. Whitney, an assistant managing editor and the standards
editor, said Thursday.

Translation: Tard handlers.

If only Reuters and AP followed suit…

UPDATE: Uh oh! Looks like someone didn't get their snack pack...

$35,000 a year for making the Royal w/ Cheese

For anyone that’s read this blog it should not be a surprise that among the developed world I consider France to be the Pinnacle of leftist economic stupidity. It really seems as if they’re really on some suicidal mission to single handedly prove the superiority of the free market system.

The newest twist comes as the country considers Chirac’s replacement. Naturally the French consider the antidote to economic malaise resulting from crippling entitlements and regulation is even more entitlements and regulation. This idiocy is embodied in Ségolène Royal who among other things wishes to raise the French minimum wage to the equivalent of $2000 a month (that’s $24k a year if you’re a journalist). Considering that French per-capita GDP is $30,000 while the US is $43,500 that would translate into a US minimum annual income of nearly $35000 a year.

God I hope she gets elected.

Kyoto Cost Benefit

This is the only cost benefit analysis I've seen to date on Kyoto. If anyone else has different numbers I'd love to see them. I seriously doubt we'll get anything other than agitprop from the Boxer committee.

The sloppy logic of the Kyoto advocates is surprising. The protocol would demand the biggest international financial commitment in history, yet it rests on an elementary fallacy: it compares the total costs of potential damage with the marginal costs of slightly ameliorating the problem. Even if every industrial country met the Kyoto goals of reducing carbon emissions 30 percent by 2010, the impact would be tiny. By 2100 that would have postponed global warming by a mere six years. The guy in Bangladesh driven from his home by rising sea levels would have to move in 2106, instead of 2100.

This makes little sense. The best estimates of the cost of implementing Kyoto run between $150 billion and $350 billion a year. The best estimates of the damage from global warming reach about $500 billion annually in 2100. Proponents argue that paying $150 billion to avoid $500 billion in damages is a good deal. But that's not what's on offer. We still have to pay the $500 billion, only six years later. So the real offer is: we pay $150 billion each year for 100 years to postpone payment of $500 billion annually, starting in 2100. All economic models show this to be, as the Copenhagen Consensus put it, a "bad" deal.

Journalists are Retarded cont.

In reporting how those noble French are teaching us about sacrifice by turning off the lights on the Eiffel Tower for 5 whole minutes Reuters reports the following:

The Eiffel Tower's illuminations are one of the most notable features of the French capital's skyline and account for 9 percent of the 7,000 megawatts consumed hourly by the structure.

7,000 Megawatt hours! Holy crap! That’s more power than is generated by all of Iraq and more than has ever been consumed by customers of Duke Energy – the largest energy provider in Indiana.

Most likely the sum total of the editors education on all things electric came from Back to the Future.

To make matters worse over 75% of electric generation in France comes from nuclear generation which has zero net effect on greenhouse gas emissions. So this entire action/story is meaningless.

UPDATE:According to this site, the lighting system at the tower is 120KW. Assuming the AP/Reuters article is correct in stating that lighting is 9% of total power usage then we can surmise that total consumption is 120KW(100 *.09) = 1.08MW. A bit lower than 7000.

UPDATE: CNN’s corrected the obvious mistake. Apparently assuming it was a simple order of magnitude issue (KW vs. MW – I’m not so sure. These dummies still have the original version.)