On Jokes

Now that my readership has dwindled to zero in response to my sudden and long-term departure from the blogosphere, it seems appropriate to rekindle the raging fire of joe-mania with some simple observations about making jokes.

Organized religion has more or less failed to provide me with enough emotional energy to sustain my lust for life in the face of all the crap that life entails. Other things, thankfully, have done better, but I'm sure many other things will let me down too before I die. Throughout my life, and in my life still, though, laughter has provided me with light in dark times. It, more than anything else, is my religion now. I like to make jokes. I like to make people laugh, I like to make myself laugh, and I like for other people to make me laugh. As other sources of sustenance fade, laughter loses more and more of its constraints for me. There is almost nothing in my personal life that I would not subject to the gentle renderings of comedic analysis.

Now, much has been said lately about the ethical desirability of certain types of humor, thanks in large part to the popularity of Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat movie. When it comes to understanding the rationale behind tasteless, offensive, iconoclastic, politically incorrect, and infantile humor, I hazard to assume that I am able to speak with some authority. For this is precisely that type of thing that has most appealed to my funny bone over the better part of my life. I will now attempt to explain why this type of humor appeals to me and why I think it's ok.
I am not a particularly dumb person. I am relatively well-read, informed, and engaged with wider world. Nor am I particularly callous. I consider myself pretty sensitive to the plights of other human beings. Nevertheless, from the time I first laughed at the sound and smell of flatulence, I was hooked on low-brow humor. Here's why, I think.

Humor is about truth. Things are funny because they cut through all the layers of bullshit and express what everybody knows, or thinks, deep down. Humor is the opposite of political correctness.

First, farts are funny because they smell bad, sound funny, and come out of people's butts...everybody's butt. They are the great equalizer. Plato farted. Angelina Jolie farts. George Bush farts. The body and its functions are funny because they point out a simple, overwhelming truth that we try our damndest to obfuscate...that we are mortal beings doomed to die (yes, that's a line from lord of the rings). Sex is funny for the same reason. We are stupid little creatures trying to eat, sleep, shit, and fuck. Next time you watch the Oscars, or a french art movie, or a poltical speech, or go to a museum, or engage in a long and emotional kiss with your lover...remember and laugh.

Second, shock humor is funny because it can let us explore the dark aspects of life without having to endure them or see other people endure them. Shock humor is a lot like horror movies in that way (no wonder that I like horror movies). In this way, we can acclamate ourselves to the darkness that we will inevitably have to face in this life. We can be ready for it, having stripped it of some of its power.

This is probably the most delicate and controversial of the opinions I'll express here. Third, shock humor often occurs in the context of the comedian adopting a persona. If I say something offensive as a joke, particularly something that deals with race or sex or sexual orientation, then I'm trying to point out the ridiculousness, the laughability, of having those opinions. Borat is funny because the stereotypes of jews as mystical monsters who love money, and the stereotypes of eastern europeans/central asians as anti-semitic and backwards, etc, etc, ....these notions are ridiculous! A racist joke is not funny...the stereotypes that underlie the joke ARE funny, because they are so irrational and ridiculous.

Fourth, shock humor is way to channel creativity. Why? Because it's hard to shock people these days. It really becomes an art form. Poets are constrained by their forms. Offensive comedians are constrained by the number of dirty words they can think of. Coming up with a really visceral, innovative, emotionally potent insult, or sexual act, or something like that, is really a form of art...the one that appeals most to me, for better or worse.

The real questions is this: do ethics and comedy have any business being discussed together? Is there anything that we "shouldn't" laugh at, or is comedy simply a factual phenomenon...either it's funny or it's not. There certainly seem to be things that just aren't funny to me...mostly anything that involves real people getting really hurt (by real people I mean concrete individuals who actually lived here on earth). But that isn't really normative. It's factual. I don't find that funny. Borat, on the other hand, is fucking hilarious TO ME.

I would like to close by saying that I understand that not everyone gets the joke, and not everyone knows that I'm not an idiot, and not everyone automatically sees my secretly sensitive heart. Not everyone will make the distinction between persona and racist. Not all who get the joke will find it funny. I also realize that these kinds of jokes certainly could be offensive, depending on a person's background, because people have a variety of experiences. Therefore, it's good to be careful about these things and to cultivate more "genteel" types of humor for the general public....because the worst thing of all if for people not to laugh. That's just awkward and embarassing.
(also on my personal blog)

Welcome Madame Speaker

There comes a time for every sports fan of a once great team inescapably trending towards mediocrity to begin looking towards rebuilding rather than suffering season after season of not-too-bad/not-too-good seasons. The hope is that you will be eventually rewarded for accepting one or two crappy seasons by a new resurgent team with the potential to do things that are fun to watch and that your opposition isn’t in a position to capitalize at your expense. After watching the GOP pretty much piss away complete control of govt. (Honestly, when will this happen again?) on basically nothing of merit it clear the Republican party needs to cut loose the underperforming veterans and rebuild(Hastert, the Oswego Bob Evans misses you). If there was some smart, charismatic southern, yellow dog democrat representative in line for speaker I’d seriously be concerned about the GOP being in the minority for a long, long time. Buuuuttttt….the democrats are actually going to select someone who represents San Francisco and who's intense but simultaniously vacant stare seems to confirm the myth that blinking equals thinking.

So I say welcome Madame Speaker and thanks in advance for your help rebuilding.

more election media frustration...

If got forbid Republicans somehow manage to hold onto congress (I now believe the GOP needs a re-org and what better time than now?) you can count on there being weeks, even months, of MSM amplified outrage over Republicans seemingly magical powers to suppress the vote and steal elections undetectably – now aided with their new sinister ally….the com-pute-err.

Likewise when Democrats likely take at least the house you can count on there continuing to be next to zero reporting on actual democratic voter fraud despite recent convictions in two states and indictments and ongoing investigations that exist in at least 3 more.

I truly do believe that the democrats should come out ahead in this election simply based on merit – or the GOP’s lack there of. However, as with the last 3 elections I find myself extremely frustrated with the brazenness of the national media to not call things with the dispassionate eye they so frequently represent themselves as having.

UPDATE: Thank goodness. Based on current election reporting it appears everyone’s fears of unprecedented voter fraud were unfounded. How do we know this? Well it’s clear the once corrupted natural order of things has been restored by a Democratic sweep of the house and senate silly. No prolonged, result delegitimizing investigations into phantom GOP bullying are needed like in the previous three elections because it’s clear they didn’t. Democrats were finally allowed to fairly win. Everyone should just be satisfied with this result and enjoy all the news reports of people being happy with their new democratic leadership rather than the spiked stories of widespread election fraud we’d surely see if things had worked out differently.

the gaffe

Michael Kinsley once observed that in US politics "a gaffe is when a politician tells the truth".

So when I heard of Kerry’s gaffe...I mean botched joke, I really didn’t find it that surprising. No one should be shocked that, like most on the left, he views those in the armed forces as largely unjust victims of our unjust society's unjust degree of socioeconomic injustices.

What I did find surprising was how under whelmed the MSM was by Kerry's statement. It's obvious that the US military is no sacred cow to the MSM, and I don't think it should be, however when viewed in the context of constituencies that very clearly are sacred cows to the MSM the controversial nature the botched joke becomes apparent.

Lets try a thought experiment that may reveal just how lacking in self-awareness the media is of their own biases.

Kerry said:

You know, education, if you make the most of it,
if you study hard and you
do your homework, and
you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can
do well. If you dont, you get stuck in Iraq.

Now imagine the MSM reaction if a Republican said:

You know, education, if you make the most of it,
if you study hard and you
do your homework, and
you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can
do well. If you dont, you _________________.

will be a journalist.
will be a public school teacher.
will be a social worker.
will be a union worker.
will be like a (insert minority name) person.

If a Republican said any of these things the hoodoo would be so deep the RNC would be digging out until next summer but apparently calling the military dummies? Well that’s just some strait shootin. Give him another silver star.....

Sappy Human Interest Story

Usually, when confronted with the "Human Interest" story I tune out. But on Friday I was supremely bored at work and scoured the internet for anything that might be considered entertaining. So, in poking around I came across Boing-Boing, a site I've checked out a handful of times and have always been led in interesting directions. Anyway, there I found a link to a post on Scott (creator of Dilbert) Adams's blog that was human-interest-y but of a cool sort.

Apparently he has a very unusual medical problem, and about 18 months ago he lost his voice after a bout of allergies and with the odd exception of public speaking can't get it back. It's something called Spasmodic Dysphonia and basically has no cure. All treatments seem to be extremely unpleasant and not terribly effective...

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.

My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.

The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadnÂ’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe itÂ’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.

My brain remapped.

My speech returned.

Pretty cool... Go Dilbert guy.

Oh, and if you check out his post, browse some of the 1300-odd responces this post of his garnered, they're also rather interesting/uplifting.

Say it ain’t so!

BBC discovers it's biased:

It was the day that a host of BBC executives and star presenters admitted what critics have been telling them for years: the BBC is dominated by trendy, Left-leaning liberals who are biased against Christianity and in favour of multiculturalism.

A leaked account of an 'impartiality summit' called by BBC chairman Michael Grade, is certain to lead to a new row about the BBC and its reporting on key issues, especially concerning Muslims and the war on terror.

It reveals that executives would let the Bible be thrown into a dustbin on a TV comedy show, but not the Koran, and that they would broadcast an interview with Osama Bin Laden if given the opportunity. Further, it discloses that the BBC's 'diversity tsar', wants Muslim women newsreaders to be allowed to wear veils when on air.

At the secret meeting in London last month, which was hosted by veteran broadcaster Sue Lawley, BBC executives admitted the corporation is dominated by homosexuals and people from ethnic minorities, deliberately promotes multiculturalism, is anti-American, anti-countryside and more sensitive to the feelings of Muslims than Christians.

One veteran BBC executive said: 'There was widespread acknowledgement that we may have gone too far in the direction of political correctness.

Quoting a George Orwell observation, Randall said that the BBC was full of intellectuals who 'would rather steal from a poor box than stand to attention during God Save The King'.

Thank goodness PBS is waaay different.

Baron Hill vs. EFF

I just came across this article on FactCheck.org regarding some rather dubious methods used by a group called the Economic Freedom Fund in the campaign against former Rep. Baron Hill as he seeks to regain Indiana's 9th district.

Here's the summary that appears on the site:

An automated attack call claims Indiana House candidate Baron Hill "voted to allow the sale of a broad range of violent and sexually explicit materials to minors." That's an apparent reference to a vote Hill cast in 1999 against a Republican-sponsored measure to bar the sale of certain items to kids. It's also misleading. Hill, along with a majority of Democrats and a significant number of House Republicans, voted to stick with existing law. Almost twice as many lawmakers opposed the bill as voted for it, with many making the argument that it was overly broad and a possible violation of the First Amendment.

The calls were sponsored by the conservative Economic Freedom Fund – an outside group wholly funded by Texas millionaire homebuilder Bob Perry. Perry was the main backer of the 2004 campaign by Swift Boat Veterans for Truth against John Kerry and he has already funded EFF, which was formed last month, at an even higher level - $5 million so far - than he funded the Swiftboaters. This indicates that the group could become a big player this fall. But it may have to alter its strategy in Indiana; the attorney general there has sued EFF, alleging the calls violate state law.

Check it out here.

Big Shocker

Oil companies see the world rationally; NPR does not.

In my first post on this subject on May 1 I contrasted the competing perspectives of NPR’s self-rightious chicken littleing everyone’s gotta conserve right now or we’re gonna die! regurgitation of Matthew Simmons to oil company analyst’s somewhat less exiting forecasts on oil prices.

Today the Seattle Times reveals that the Oil companies read on the situation was exactly right. Nearly the entire recent rise in oil prices was due to temporary factors that had little to do with available oil in the ground. The floor has fallen out of the oil market and it could be quite sometime before it stabilizes.

I know I-told-you-so’s are always annoying but someone needs to identify the endless streams of BS that media organizations with editorial proclivities like NPR pump out with what seems like impunity. Grasping at any novel idea that reinforces a desired policy (environmen…I mean sustainability in this case) like a fat kid plowing through a happy-meal isn’t anything close to responsible journalism.

L-A-M-E

My 3G ipod and cell phone are getting a little long in the tooth so I eagerly awaited today’s announcement from Steve Jobs to hear about what new revolutionary consumer electronics his flip-flop wearing elves would build next. I read numerous articles on digg and Slashdot that speculated that a widescreen IPOD with touchscreen interface and/or an apple cellphone would be announced. Instead he revealed that they shiney’d up the nano with some metallic appliqué, converted the stupid chewing gum form factor of the shuffle into a stupid matchbook form factor and somehow managed to figure out a way to make downloads of Disney movies available in sub VHS quality for $15. Where ever do they find the time?

Unfortunately Apple doesn’t seem to learn from its past mistakes. Until at least 1993 Apple had a superior product that dominated the market. For years they justifiably ridiculed the competition for even attempting to equal them. The problem is that eventually the competition succeeded and they never recovered. Now in the portable media player market they are similarly vulnerable. Already Toshiba has produced a media player that’s widely considered to be superior to anything apple has and Microsoft is on the verge of releasing a wide format media player and an increasing number of cellphones contain impressive media playback capabilities.

Steve, your serve has again been broken. Can we look forward to you flaking out, getting fired by the board and trying to start a company that makes ridiculously expensive and underperforming cube shaped cell phones that virtually no one but Earlham will purchase* only to come back in 2020 to save the day? That would be insanely great.

*Yeah, for some inexplicable reason someone at Earlham decided to buy NeXT workstations in the 90’s instead of the cheaper and much more powerful Suns like everyone else.

Pants Stuffer and Pals Grumpy

I think the uproar over the last week involving aspects of the upcoming ABC historical dramatization “Path to 9/11”, like the previous hullabaloo regarding CBS’ “The Reagans”, is completely absurd. In both cases critics latched onto less than flattering portrayals of events that transpired behind closed doors offering instead versions of events that reek of the best possible spin while remaining silent about all the potentially embarrassing situations that still are known only to those involved. Did Reagan sound like a bigoted codger in the Oval office when Nancy pleaded with him to fund AIDS research? Maybe not, but we do know that he dragged his feet in signing a bill authorizing funding to a degree that could be fairly interpreted as animus. It shouldn’t be a reasonable expectation that public officials, particularly those whose actions have the far reaching implications of say a president can have things both ways. While I’m certain the portrayals of Clinton officials are far from accurate their decisions, policies and their ultimate outcomes are very much a matter of public record. To claim that the Clinton administration took the threat of Muslim extremism with the seriousness it warranted just isn’t borne out by the clear increase in frequency and severity of attacks and the comparable inaction by the administration. If bad things happened during and because of a president’s term unflattering dramatizations should be the least of their concerns.

* January 25, 1993: Mir Aimal Kansi, a Pakistani, fired an AK-47 into cars waiting at a stoplight in front of the Central Intelligence Agency headquarters in Virginia, killing two CIA employees.
* February 26, 1993: Islamic terrorists try to bring down the World Trade Center with car bombs. They failed to destroy the buildings, but killed 6 and injured over 1000 people.
* March 12, 1993: Car bombings in Mumbai, India leave 257 dead and 1,400 others injured.
* July 18, 1994: Bombing of Jewish Center in Buenos Aires, Argentina, kills 86 and wounds 300. The bombing is generally attributed to Hezbollah acting on behalf of Iran.
* July 19, 1994: Alas Chiricanas Flight 00901 is bombed, killing 21. Generally attributed to Hezbollah.
* July 26, 1994: The Israeli Embassy is attacked in London, and a Jewish charity is also car-bombed, wounding 20. The attacks are attributed to Hezbollah.
* December 11, 1994: A bomb explodes on board Philippine Airlines Flight 434, killing a Japanese businessman. It develops that Ramzi Yousef planted the bomb to test it for the larger terrorist attack he is planning.
* December 24, 1994: In a preview of September 11, Air France Flight 8969 is hijacked by Islamic terrorists who planned to crash the plane in Paris.
* January 6, 1995: Operation Bojinka, an Islamist plot to bomb 11 U.S. airliners over the Pacific Ocean, is discovered on a laptop computer in a Manila, Philippines apartment by authorities after a fire occurred in the apartment. Noted terrorists including Ramzi Yousef and Khalid Shaikh Mohammed are involved in the plot.
* June 14—June 19, 1995: The Budyonnovsk hospital hostage crisis, in which 105 civilians and 25 Russian troops were killed following an attack by Chechan Islamists.
* July—October, 1995: Bombings in France by Islamic terrorists led by Khaled Kelkal kill eight and injure more than 100.
* November 13, 1995: Bombing of OPM-SANG building in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia kills 7
* November 19, 1995: Bombing of Egyptian Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan kills 19.
* January 1996: In Kizlyar, 350 Chechen Islamists took 3,000 hostages in a hospital. The attempt to free them killed 65 civilians and soldiers.
* February 25 - March 4, 1996: A series of four suicide bombings in Israel leave 60 dead and 284 wounded within 10 days.
* June 11, 1996: A bomb explodes on a train traveling on the Serpukhovsko-Timiryazevskaya Line of the Moscow Metro, killing four and unjuring at least 12.
* June 25, 1996: The Khobar Towers bombing, carried out by Hezbollah with Iranian support. Nineteen U.S. servicemen were killed and 372 wounded.
* February 24, 1997: An armed man opens fire on tourists at an observation deck atop the Empire State Building in New York City, United States, killing a Danish national and wounding visitors from several countries. A handwritten note carried by the gunman claims this was a punishment attack against the "enemies of Palestine".
* November 17, 1997: Massacre in Luxor, Egypt, in which Islamist gunmen attack tourists, killing 62 people.
* January 1998: Wandhama Massacre - 24 Kashmiri Pandits are massacred by Pakistan-backed Islamists in the city of Wandhama in Indian-controlled Kashmir.
* February 14, 1998: Bombings by Islamic Jihadi groups at an election rally in the Indian city of Coimbatore kill about 60 people.
* August 7, 1998: Al Qaeda bombs U.S. embassies in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania and Nairobi, Kenya, killing 225 people and injuring more than 4,000.
* August 31 – September 22, 1998: Russian apartment bombings kill about 300 people, leading Russia into Second Chechen War.
* December 1998: Jordanian authorities foil a plot to bomb American and Israeli tourists in Jordan, and arrest 28 suspects as part of the 2000 millennium attack plots.
* December 14, 1998: Ahmed Ressam is arrested on the United States–Canada border in Port Angeles, Washington; he confessed to planning to bomb the Los Angeles International Airport as part of the 2000 millennium attack plots.
* December 24, 1998: Indian Airlines Flight 814 from Kathmandu, Nepal to Delhi, India is hijacked by Islamic terrorists. One passenger is killed and some hostages are released. After negotiations between the Taliban and the Indian government, the last of the remaining hostages on board Flight 814 are released in exchange for release of 4 terrorists.
* January 2000: The last of the 2000 millennium attack plots fails, as the boat meant to bomb USS The Sullivans sinks.
* August 8, 2000: A bomb exploded at an underpass in Pushkin Square in Moscow, killing 11 people and wounding more than 90.
* August 17, 2000: Two bombs exploded in a shopping center in Riga, Latvia, injuring 35 people.
* October 12, 2000: AL Qaeda bombs USS Cole with explosive-laden speedboat, killing 17 USAden, Yemen. sailors and wounding 40, off the port coast of

government authority

I'm starting school again, this semester just going half time, and I'm taking two law classes. One is a general administrative law class (law and public affairs) and one is about election law.

The general law class has been fascinating so far, because I've already learned more about how government operates than I did in my entire public management class. Part of the reason for that, I think, is that government is essentially about authority...who has it, and where does it come from, which means that government is essentially about law. In other words, there isn't really a strict line between law and policy, or between the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of government.

I find this question of authority fascinating for some reason. I'm not sure why. I guess because I always find myself asking, "do they really have the power to do that?" This is particularly relevant these days in light of the push for greater executive branch authority by W and other Presidents. So, I always find myself asking, what exactly does the President do? And what can he (or she) do? It turns out to be a pretty complex set of questions.

Higher Prices = More Supply

The first of what I expect will be many similar announcements:

The Wall Street Journal reported Monday that the region where the well is
located could become the nation's biggest new domestic source of oil since the
discovery of Alaska's North Slope more than a generation ago.
The Journal
said Chevron and Devon officials estimate that recent discoveries in the Gulf of
Mexico's lower-tertiary formations hold up to 15 billion barrels' worth of oil
and gas reserves, a total that would boost the nation's current reserves by 50
percent.

But by all means, windfall taxes must be what’s best for consumers since peak oil is surely upon us.

Goodbye Joe Wilson

This Editorial from the Washington Post sufficiently brings to an end any curiosity I may have had about the whole "outing" of Valerie Plame. Actually, I've not been able to care for some time now, but obviously some people do, so to that end read on:

WE'RE RELUCTANT to return to the subject of former CIA employee Valerie Plame because of our oft-stated belief that far too much attention and debate in Washington has been devoted to her story and that of her husband, former ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV, over the past three years. But all those who have opined on this affair ought to take note of the not-so-surprising disclosure that the primary source of the newspaper column in which Ms. Plame's cover as an agent was purportedly blown in 2003 was former deputy secretary of state Richard L. Armitage.
...
Nevertheless, it now appears that the person most responsible for the end of Ms. Plame's CIA career is Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson chose to go public with an explosive charge, claiming -- falsely, as it turned out -- that he had debunked reports of Iraqi uranium-shopping in Niger and that his report had circulated to senior administration officials. He ought to have expected that both those officials and journalists such as Mr. Novak would ask why a retired ambassador would have been sent on such a mission and that the answer would point to his wife. He diverted responsibility from himself and his false charges by claiming that President Bush's closest aides had engaged in an illegal conspiracy. It's unfortunate that so many people took him seriously.

If you're still interested, Christopher Hitchens has a similarly themed roundup of the absurdity that is/was the Wilson/Plame business.

Broken Promises

Alright I know I promised that I would stop complaining about news coverage in the NYTimes but I stumbled onto this piece in slate that so devastatingly exposes the editorial biases of the paper I couldn’t help myself. I particularly liked how the author mentioned the intital “cultivation of a meretricious appearance of balance” to start off stories only to then stack the deck in favor of their ideological agenda. This also happens to be my primary gripe about the largely editorially identical NPR. Don’t agree? Look at the front page of the NYTimes sometime right as Morning Edition comes on (particularly after the Bush administration does something it finds particularly egregious) and marvel at their synchronicity – both in emphasis and tone.

YAY!!!

Hopefully Fidel will soon be paying Arafat a visit in the tyrant wing of Hades. I wonder if Che will be his poolboy…

I used to Blog

My boss has banned me from blogging, at least about my job. And I don't really want to blog about my love-life. Can't do too much politics till the campaign's over. What does that leave me? Oh, here's something to say!

I read Red Harvest by Daschel Hammet, the old noir detective writer. It was incredibly violent, but snappy. I reccomend it.

Good to see y'all back on the blogging. Andrew, thanks for not turning any of my posts over to the the republicans down here...if that just gave you an idea, please ignore it.

UNION LABOR

IT'S FAAAANTASTIC!!!!!

UPDATE: OH GOD GIVE ME THE CONCRETE SLAB INSTEAD!!!

UPDATE: Nappy Time!

Oh those irresponsible Bush tax cuts…

The NYTimes of all places:

An unexpectedly steep rise in tax revenues from corporations and the wealthy is
driving down the projected budget deficit this year, even though spending has
climbed sharply because of the war in Iraq and the cost of hurricane
relief.
On Tuesday, White House officials are expected to announce that the
tax receipts will be about $250 billion above last year's levels and that the
deficit will be about $100 billion less than what they projected six months ago.
The rising tide in tax payments has been building for months, but the increased
scale is surprising even seasoned budget analysts and making it easier for both
the administration and Congress to finesse the big run-up in spending over the
past year.
Tax revenues are climbing twice as fast as the administration
predicted in February, so fast that the budget deficit could actually decline
this year.
The main reason is a big spike in corporate tax receipts, which
have nearly tripled since 2003, as well as what appears to be a big rise in
individual taxes on stock market profits and executive bonuses.

Despite this revelation, I’m quite certain we’ll be hearing flawed analysis from Krugman wannabes like this in the NYTimes and NPR all through the 2006 election.

If we cut taxes for the rich, either A) we raise other taxes or B) we increase
debt or C) we cut spending. A), B) and C) have incentive effects too; we must
consider net incentives.
A tax cut for the rich has minimal incentive effect.
That's because much income at the top is "passive." Corporate shareowners can't
increase their capital gains if tax rates fall--though they may change their tax
accounting.

More Hasselhoff

All I have to say is that KITT is not a right hand driver.

U-Haul Hell

I wrote the following last night and saved it as a draft. It's a little messy but se la vie.

I'm drinking a beer and contemplating my infuriating day on hold. I was only calling to confirm my reservation because Mark and Kelley got surprized once by the bastards, and after hearing that kind of thing I wanna be prepared. I wasn't prepared enough apparently.

I wrote this to Mark somewhere in there...

-----Original Message-----
From: Benjamin Hartman [mailto:hartmbe@earlham.edu] Sent: Friday, June 30, 2006 12:15 PM
To: Whitaker, Mark
Subject: ohmygod

Hey Dude,
I'm currently on hold with fuckin uhaul. I called to confirm what I thought was my reservation and lo and behold, what I thought was my reservation time was not what they had. I bitched at the guy for 10 minutes and then I tried calling his superior. I was nicer to his super. This guy calmly said that I should call the "Traffic" dept of uhaul, noting that they will be rather busy today. I tried calling for 10 minutes and then got connected. I told the nice lady, "Sure" when she asked if I could go on hold, and there I rot. Going on 20 minutes now.

Fuck.

When I called the Brookline U-Haul place, they said my reservation was for 7:30 am to 3 pm. Definitely not enough time, nor the right time to wrangle helpers.

Sooo, here are what I think are our options, ranked in order of preferance.

1. I can get the same truck for a more amenable time tomorrow.
2. I can get a slightly smaller truck for a more amenable time tomorrow.
3. I can get either the same or smaller truck for Sunday, all day.
4. I cancel my reservation, and try to find something for tomorrow.
5. I run away and join the army, learn how to kill then track down evil with the barrel of a gun. Saving my last bullet for the chump who denied me my truck.
6. Take a bath in some toxic substance, obtain super strength/speed and move everything in an instant.

Actually, I like 6 more than 5, so I'd like to switch those.

There you have it.

And I'm still on hold.

Fuck.

I'll be giving you a call later on to see how you're doing.

Later,
B

Mark wrote back...

Whitaker, Mark wrote:

> That fucking sucks. Do you have any emails or other proof of the
> original time that you scheduled?

and I sent this at 2:25

-----Original Message-----
From: Benjamin Hartman [mailto:hartmbe@earlham.edu] Sent: Friday, June 30, 2006 2:25 PM
To: Whitaker, Mark
Subject: Re:ohmygodfckuhaul

I'm on hold again.

I just got done being on hold for 1/2 an hour, talked to someone for 2 minutes, made another call, and am on hold again. This shit is driving me crazy.

Long and short. The person I talked to before cancelled my reservation for the 26 foot truck, unbeknownst to me, and put in a request for a 17 footer at another location for Sunday. I thought I had to do this work and was not expecting her to do it for me. Since we had effectively changed our minds, we're again stuck with something we weren't expecting and now don't want. Did I say I hate uhaul recently? I hate uhaul.

I'm still on hold. I know they're busy, but so am I. I've spent the past 4 hours with a phone attached to my head when I was supposed to be productive.

grrrrrrrrrrr.
B

There you have it.

The Real Officer Barbrady

New post please

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry that I have neglected you. My attention span has degenerated to that of a coked up hummingbird, and you have suffered. I flutter to myriad excuses but none will do. All I can offer is penance. I, ... I can't finish this sentence. Not for grief, but for my affliction. And so I will leave you with something different.

I'm sorry Andrew, but if I see that "Is 'Peak Oil' Bunk?" headline one more time my eyes will explode from my head, and steam will shoot from my ears. I don't doubt that on some level, peak oil is indeed bunk (as hype equals bulshit, more often than not), but I can't bring myself to care after this long month. Its presence at the top of the page mocks me and my idleness and so it must be banished.

So blog, I will try to give you something, anything, to fill the space and let you know you are wanted, if still somewhat unloved.

This is a shout out to Mark, whose fame has spread through the wildfire that is YouTube. His banjo magnificence has been recognized by some 3,000 eyes, give or take the odd cyclops or three-eyed mutant. Come, watch him again. And when you're done, register to YouTube so that you may vote upon his greatness with the coveted 5-Star rating. His banjo-ing should be noted for what it is, as the greatest that site has to offer.



and when you're done you should watch these cats.

Is “Peak Oil” Bunk?

NPR continues beating one of their favorite chicken-little memes to death this week: Peak Oil is upon us. Like other things they expect their audience to just accept, such as being in the midst of a global warming crisis and more diversity is always better, they breathlessly report that the world may soon “grind to a halt” due to rapidly declining oil reserves with little pretense that there is a possibility that things…might…just…actually…be…okay.

Now all the breathless talk about crisis is good for book sales and affirming the egos of hybrid driving NPR contributors but I think one will find that actually following the money gives the most accurate picture of the situation. Big shocker: Public Radio’s perspective has little bearing on actual market behavior.

"My guess is virtually 90% of the oil industry is assuming that $70 oil is not going to last more than a few years," according to Adam Sieminski, the chief energy economist at Deutsche Bank (nyse: DB - news - people ). He guesses that most oil companies are projecting crude will fetch $40 a barrel plus inflation over the long-term.

On that score, the oil companies appear to be virtually alone. Wall Street continues churning out predictions of $100 oil. Hedge fund managers are pouring millions into oil futures. And peak oil theorists, who argue that humans have produced nearly half the oil that there is to produce, and that therefore prices will shoot up enough to bring economic growth to a halt, are enjoying their heyday.

"The people most alarmed about future supply are not the people running oil companies," says John Felmy, the chief economist at the American Petroleum Institute, an industry trade group in Washington.

In the past, only 10% of oil discovered worldwide ever made it to market, says Jerry Taylor, the director of natural resource studies at the Cato Institute in Washington. But thanks to the march of technology, that portion has climbed to 35%; a move to 40% would create a big increase in new supply. Peak oil theorists have ignored the impact of these technological advances when they have predicted for years that world oil production was nearing its peak. And that is the reason they keep getting it wrong.

Now I think it’s entirely possible that a couple of oil companies could just be behaving stupidly by not investing in greater supply but since the potential reward is so huge if oil prices stay fixed at current levels or greater it seems unlikely to me that all of them would just sit pat unless they had solid reasons for doing so. Either way a lot of people are going to look very stupid in the next few years.

Colbert Roundup

I had forgotten that Steven Colbert was going to do the White House correspondents Dinner, so was pleasantly awaiting it's appearance on You Tube. But, in case you'd rather read about it, Editor and Publisher has a pretty good review of the performance. Oh, and here are some responses to the review, in the forms of letters to the editor (of Editor and Publisher). Funny shit all.

Update: I missed this one (below) which is actually the begining of Colbert's roast-y type talk. This clip gets a little uncomfortable toward the end when the C-Span folks hold a shot on the President for what seems like a minute, and you see nothing remotely like a smile on his digitized face. Watch out Steve.

Excelsior!!!

THIS IS THE DUMBEST, MOST ECONOMICALY UNSOUND POLICY I THINK I’VE EVER SEEN SINCE CARTER.

What happens when you reduce the cost of a commodity? Demand goes up. What happens when demand goes up? Prices rise. This $100 will achieve absolutely nothing for consumers and will achieve nothing other than cause a brief blip in oil company's revenues. For once can these idiots just stop meddling and let the market do it's job?

Lateness

I fucking hate lateness. More specifically, I hate the mindset that causes lateness (as opposed to lateness caused by unforeseen external forces, which I excuse). I hate it when concerts start an hour and a half later than advertised. I hate that everyone knows that concerts don’t start on time and act accordingly. I hate it when people decide not to go to a party at the time it’s supposed to begin specifically because they don’t want to be there before everyone else arrives. I hate it when people ask me to meet them somewhere, I show up at the agreed upon time and they are consistently never there, but always “about to leave” or “on their way”. I hate that honoring time commitments has often made people consider me to be obsessive, as if merely trying to keep one’s word is somehow an extreme overachievement. Arrgggh!

global warming stuff

Hey, I just finished my global warming debate. Andrew, I used some of your old arguments about bias in academia to show how a consensus among scientists doesn't neccesarily mean they're right, so thanks for the help!

My conclusion after the whole thing...human-induced global warming due to greenhouse gas emissions is probably part of the reason that temperatures are increasing, but not all or even most of it. The consequences are really hard to predict, but will probably be some degree of rise in sea levels, obviously increased temperatures, and generally increased rainfall. If people can continue to develop better technologies, we very well may be able to adapt to the worst of it. Some species of plants and animals will suffer a lot, and some will migrate to better climates, and some we might be able to help with the aforementioned technologies.

Because the system is so complex and hard to predict, though, it may be much, much worse. So, the question is, which scenario should we use for policy decisions. The worst case, the best case, or something in-between? I think it may be wiser to make policy based on the worst case scenario, especially if this involves investments in alternative energy, which would have lots of other benefits too.

Good Movie. Bad Movie?

So last night we saw Thank you for Smoking. It made fun of cigarette companies and nanny state liberals at the same time. Yes, cigarettes are bad and by extension so are the companies that make them, but if you are an adult with a fully functioning brain, by now you should know that. It was great and I strongly recommend it.




But before the movie the trailer for an Inconvenient Truth was shown. Its ninety-four minutes of supercilious, Al Gore hyperbole about Ga-lobe-al Wharm-ang. Oh lord does it look bad. But of course I must not love the earth or children and enjoy betraying it with my 21mpg car. I agree that anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions aren’t helpful to the environment but this is really as far as the scientific consensus goes. Anything else is just reckless, and arguably agenda driven speculation. Is Mount Kilimanjaro losing it’s snowcap a sign of the apocalypse we deserve? Nope and Nope. This was discredited over 2 years ago as caused by regional deforestation causing the air to be more dry, but it does make a pretty picture. Is Antarctic melting a new phenomenon? Nope it’s been melting at roughly the same rate for over 7,500 years, but I’m sure Al enjoyed the imagery of drowning all the Floridians who didn’t vote for him in 2000. Was global warming responsible for what happened in New Orleans? Hardly. Don’t get me wrong, I think the fewer carbon emissions the better, but I’m not willing go chicken-little over what appears to be an admittedly undesirable but highly manageable trend. The real tragedy is the exaggerated claims that are made in this movie do nothing to move the debate any more to the mainstream where it belongs. Joe six-pack isn’t going to trade in his Yukon for a Prius because of some sad, sad polar bears or the rantings of some self-righteous activist scientists who were never too good at math. Climatologists should stick to their day jobs and focus on getting the actual science right and leave assessing the true consequences of what they find to people with some actual perspective; economists.

UPDATE: The Beeb of all places questions the "overselling" of climate change.

FLASHBACK: This puts the movie into context: "Arlie Schardt, who was Mr. Gore's communications director during the 1988 presidential campaign, to warn the candidate in a memo, 'your main pitfall is exaggeration.'"

UPDATE: Jonah Goldberg sums up my previous points better than I.

Sigh.

My feelings toward our President have tempered over the years to the point where I don't actively dislike the man (however much I disagree with his decisions), and sometimes when I'm feeling charitable, I empathize with him. But every now and again I come across something (usually video) that makes me irate for no real identifiable reason. I found this video via Sullivan who got it from Wonkette who found it on YouTube, and there's plenty wrong with what I see here. He dodges the question, while remarking about dodging the question. He gives that pat "I delegate" remark, which is itself a dodge. He can't take a serious question seriously. He sounds like a moron when he giggles like that, and I'm sure, much more.

Mark said it reminded him of Rickey Gervais's David Brent from "The Office". I agree with that, but there's something else here that bothers me... I'm just at a loss to describe/pinpoint it. What do you think?

worst commercial ever

Okay, maybe it’s not the worst ever, but since we’re in the process of buying a house it seems like it. If I was getting ganged up on like that guy in the commercial I would rip that phone off the wall and shout “peddle your wares somewhere else real estate harpy!” whether the phone was still plugged in or not. As it stands now I still want to scream “what are you doing you pussy? All the specialness in the world doesn’t pay your property taxes!” to that poor simpering bastard of a husband.

guilty funny

So apparently the kid in the video had his life ruined when he decided to film himself pretending to be Darth Maul with his school’s camcorder and just left the tape on a bookshelf for anyone to discover. Shockingly some of his classmates put the video on the internet and he spent the remainder of his time in high school being ridiculed as the “star wars kid”. Stories like these tend to put me into a moral quandary. What this kid has gone through is clearly horrible and you gotta feel for him. Shut up conscience! He made sound effects and is chubby.

UPDATE: Holy crap. I had no idea this was such a pop culture phenomenon.

Gift from above

So I was pooped on by a bird this morning--a first for me. It must have happened while I was walking into work and slipped by unnoticed. It wasn't until I took my coat off, put my backpack away and finally sat down that I noticed a nickel-sized blob of that unmistakeable white/brown/green colored goo on my thigh. Thankfully, it didn't smell and came out pretty easily. In fact, the more I think about it, we're pretty lucky that bird shit doesn't stink. Imagine if dogs could fly.

Daddy, I want a job and I want it now!

Veruca, Daddy can’t give you a job whenever you want them anymore, there are no jobs left.

You'll give me a job now!!!

Sweetheart, nearly 30% of people your age also want a job and the other
70% are so incredibly lazy because they never can be fired that companies cannot hire anymore.

Daddy if you don’t give me a job I’m going to SCREAM!!!

Darling the only way companies would be willing to hire more people
your age is if they were allowed some recourse if you decided to smoke, smell bad
and listen to your incredibly gay French club music instead working.
Oh Veruca, how this pains me. I’m going to have to give them 2 years after
you graduate from college to fire you if things are not working out.

Daddy you make me so MAD! It doesn’t matter how hard I work or how smart I am I’m entitled to the same way of life you had. I hate you! I hate you! I don’t care if people in China are willing to work 80 hours a week at $1 an hour with no vacation time. I want 100% job security, a generous salary, generous, free benefits, 3 months of vacation and a 35 hour work week and I’m not going to let your cowboy capitalist ideas turn people my age into the Kleenex generation. I went to COLLEGE daddy. My reward is a lifetime vacation from reality and it starts NOW!

Alright, Alright Veruca honey here’s what I’ll do, I’ll only give companies 1 year to fire you IF they have an approved reason.

Not good enough Daddy!!! Now I want a pony!!!

UPDATE: A very funny take on the subject of france openly embracing sloth.

UPDATE: One of NPR’s favorite guest authors and progressive activist, Barbara Ehrenreich writes in this month’s Progressive Magazine:

Was it only three years ago that some of our puffed up patriots were denouncing
the French as “cheese-eating surrender monkeys,” too fattened on Camembert to
stub out their Gaulois and get down with the war on Iraq? Well, take another
look at the folks who invented the word liberté. Throughout the month of March
and beyond, they were demonstrating, rioting, and burning up cars to preserve a
right Americans can only dream of: the right not to be fired at an employer’s
whim.

And…

You may recognize in the French government’s reasoning the same arguments
Americans hear whenever we raise a timid plea for a higher minimum wage or a
halt to the steady erosion of pensions and health benefits: “What?” scream the
economists who flack for the employing class. “If you do anything, anything at
all, to offend or discomfit the employers, they will respond by churlishly
failing to employ you! Unemployment will rise, and you—lacking, of course, the
health care and other benefits provided by the French welfare state—will quickly
spiral down into starvation.”

Ah yes progressives may have briefly publicly flirted with the Scandinavian social model (which is now rapidly crumbling) but their hearts will always belong to France. No system more fully embraces the progressive credo: “Don’t like economic reality? Protest it!”.

UPDATE: France surrenders to itself.

UPDATE: Andrew Sullivan declares France dead:

If the French cannot accept even the teensiest attemp to bring market discipline and free labor markets to their over-regulated economy, then they need no longer be considered a nation with a future. They are a nation committing an extremely slow suicide by suffocation. The suffocation is caused by an overdose of insecurity. Its only cure is nerve. But nerve was never a very common French trait, was it?

Are you annoying or boring?

If you're not sure, then perhaps you need one of these:

A device that can pick up on people's emotions is being developed to help people with autism relate to those around them. It will alert its autistic user if the person they are talking to starts showing signs of getting bored or annoyed.

One of the problems facing people with autism is an inability to pick up on social cues. Failure to notice that they are boring or confusing their listeners can be particularly damaging, says Rana El Kaliouby of the Media Lab at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. "It's sad because people then avoid having conversations with them.

Hmmm, I'm sure we can all think of some folks who would benefit from this who aren't autistic. But wait, they thought of that too!

People with autism are not the only ones who stand to benefit. Timothy Bickmore of Northeastern University in Boston, who studies ways in which computers can be made to engage with people's emotions, says the device would be a great teaching aid. "I would love it if you could have a computer looking at each student in the room to tell me when 20 per cent of them were bored or confused.

NR likes ‘The Blade’

Since my only source for State news is the unfortunate 10+ hours of WFYI I listen to every week (my commute) I’ve apparently been under the apparently false impression that Governor Mitch “The Blade” Daniels sucks and everyone hates him. Even with my trust of Public Radio news reporting at a historic low I too believed that the “Major Moves” program and the Telcom deregulation bill would consign our children to a future of slavery to jackbooted Australians and be forced to watch 130 channels of HSN. As surprising as it may be, National Review and WFYI have different assessments of My Man Mitch.

There’s about to be a building boom in Indiana, which is desperate good news
for a state that has been severely challenged by the global manufacturing shift
and years of ambivalent leadership.

The chief architect of the boom
is the state’s decisive Governor Mitch Daniels, President Bush’s former budget
director. In Washington, Daniels drew scorn from congressional big spenders,
acquiring the nickname “the blade” for his cost-cutting and privatizing ways.
(The moniker could just as easily apply to his sharp wit and intellect.) The
spenders in Washington, however, won those battles — big time — swallowing the
blade and earning today’s enmity from the Republican base. But now Daniels is
back home and in charge, and he is engineering a turnaround of an entire state
with sophistication.

In the state’s short legislative session, just
completed, Daniels achieved two sweeping victories. The first is the nation’s
most aggressive telecommunications deregulation, which will spur hundreds of
millions of dollars of investment in invisible infrastructure — the “fibers and
frequencies” of the digital age, as Daniels describes it. The second is a $4
billion privatization lease of the Indiana Toll Road and the new I-69
interstate. This will fund the largest-ever upgrade of Indiana’s visible
infrastructure: its antique roads and bridges.

Ironically, Daniels’
“Major Moves” plan to lease the Indiana Toll Road, the seemingly more tame and
obvious measure, turned out to be far more controversial. It passed by a single
vote with just 15 minutes remaining in this year’s legislative session. Weeks
before anyone had heard of Dubai Ports World, the bid by Australian-Spanish
consortium Macquarie-Cintra to manage Indiana’s 157-mile stretch of I-80/90 had
already ignited a xenophobic melee in the heartland. But unlike the DP World
roll-out, Daniels had actually sought bidders for the Toll Road. His proposition
was simple: The winning contractor will pay Indiana $4 billion for an asset that
has never been profitable in government hands; the state gets to keep that
asset; the contractor upgrades the asset with new technology and an additional
$4 billion in improvements; and the state gets to fund a decade’s worth of other
major infrastructure projects, some of which have been on the drawing board for
twenty years. (Just last year Chicago leased its “Skyway” to Macquarie-Cintra
for $1.8 billion. The Skyway connects Indiana’s Toll Road to Chicago, thus
yielding a seamlessly managed road from Ohio to the Windy City.)

Total lack of options

I’m very sympathetic to Andrew Sullivan’s criticisms of the current spendthrift incarnation of “conservatism” in Washington. There hardly seems to be anyone in Washington that seems interested in spending cuts anymore. Where I have a problem with such critics is their apparent belief that having Democrats assume control of the purse strings would somehow improve the situation. Sullivan would be crapping in his pajamas if the following was the consensus of Republicans in Washington (NYTimes):

Democrats say that while their policies lack detail in some respects, they
were able at least to put together a package of proposals to which all
members of the party could subscribe, calling for more money to be spent
on a broad array of items…

Has there ever been a Democratic pet cause that demanded something other than more funding?

Shellfish or No Shellfish? St. Paul and Muhammed Cartoons

I posted this on my other site too.

Ok, so I've been thinking of an interesting issue in community dynamics. In some interactions, some people seem to be the limiting agents, and their preferences seem to take priority over others. Here's a couple of examples. St. Paul (A.K.A., Paul of Tarsus, a.k.a., Saul of Tarsus, a.k.a. Jimmy the Rat), wrote to one of his start-up cults about some problems they were having. It appears that the gentile-oriented Christians wanted to eat meat and have sex all the time like the rest of the hellenistic culture. They took a more liberal attitude toward the old Law, interpreting Christ's death and resurrection as an abolition of the dietary and cultural proscriptions. Many of the Jewish Christians, on the other hand, wanted to still keep Kosher and all that good stuff. So, Paul basically told the Gentile Christians, "You know, between you and me, that dietary stuff is all bologne (bad pun intended). But, it's not going to kill you to refrain from pork and shellfish, so if it bugs the other folks so much, just give it a rest." (this is the literal interpretation of the Greek). Here the people with the qualms, with the compunctions, with the misgivings (read the sissies) won the day. There was no compromise. Here's a modern day version. I'm hanging out with my buddies. One of them is a vegetarian, and four of them are not. We all love steak, and want to go to Little Zagrebs. But, we like our veggie buddy, and don't want him to starve or to be forced to eat a potato with relish or something lame. So, instead, we go to Moonbeam's Golden Tofu and Tobouli Shack, where I eat a pretty good Falafel and bean sprout sandwich. It's ok, but I really want a big, perfectly seasoned steak. Again, here the person with the most limits sets the rules for the community. You can think of some other examples. Roomates who are extremely sensitive to noise or messiness, group outings where people refuse to go to McDonald's, people with allergies to peanuts...I don't know, you get the picture. I find this phenomenon interesting because minority opinions seem to be able to win out over majority opinions, usually without much compromising. It is this lack of compromise that intrigues me. It seems like communities are overly willing to grant some inalienable right to groups or individuals who arbitrarily draw some line in the sand over which they declare they will not cross. Why do communities let these strong opinions dictate where the line is drawn, rather than insisting on a democratic process of negotiation? Of course, as in the case of the person with the allergy, they really do have a strict line. I think this recent cartoon hubub is an example of this issue. The sacredness of Sharia Law to Muslims does not give them an absolute right to draw the line of decency for the rest of the world. Ok, I should stop now, before I get too political. The short version is, I think this is an interesting community dynamic.

Blog change

Hey guys (and random visitors).

You may recall my blog whoredom. I'm changing my other blog from a Friendster blog to blogspot. Here's the new address. www.billygoatsgruff.blogspot.com. Ben, I'm linking my blog to this one. Feel free to link to me too.

It's odd...my interest in politics has waned rapidly over the past couple of months. I think I just got weary of thinking about things on that scale. I may be headed for the non-profit world. It may be a little more suitable for my fragile psyche. But who knows...Bush is coming to Indiana on Friday to stump for Rep. Sodrel, who's trying to fend off Baron Hill, whose seat he took int the last election. It looks like there's gonna be a lot of national heat on this election, and I might end up working on Hill's campaign, so maybe I'll get sucked back in.

Fantastic conversation on Neoconservatism

Check out Radio Open Source with Christopher Lydon for some usually interesting, internet-friendly radio shows. Last night's show, in particular, was an interesting critique of ends and means of Neoconservatism with regards to Iraq.

The following description is from the show's (rather good) blog:

We will let two of the grander thinkers of our time take the measure of the Neo-Conservative fall in Iraq.

The global theorist Francis Fukuyama and the Scots historian Niall Ferguson will be measuring, not least, the collapse of their own hopes, dreams and ideas.

Fukuyama is in full repentant, revisionist flight from the broad Neo-Con adventure. Though he never endorsed the US war on Saddam Hussein, he had impeccable Neo-Con credentials, as a student of Allan Bloom, a grad school classmate and friend of William Kristol, and twice a member of Paul Wolfowitz’s staff. In his new book, America at the Crossroads Fukuyama abandons the Neo-Con taste for pre-emption, unilateralism, regime-change and US “benevolent hegemony,” because they seem now a bad mix of doctrines, not just because the Bush team drove them in to the sand in Iraq. His book extends a sulfurous argument that began two years ago with his old pal Charles Krauthammer, who never stopped celebrating the mission to Baghdad.

Said Fukuyama: “Reading Krauthammer, one gets the impression that the Iraq War – the archetypical application of American unipolarity – had been an unqualified success, with all of the assumptions and expectations on which the war had been based fully vindicated.” The Krauthammer logic, still apparently the Cheney logic in Iraq, seems to Fukuyama “utterly unrealistic in its overestimation of U.S. power and our ability to control events around the world… Of all of the different views that have now come to be associated with neoconservatives, the strangest one to me was the confidence that the United States could transform Iraq into a Western–style democracy, and to go on from there to democratize the broader Middle East.”

Niall Ferguson is a different version, maybe a different story. His colorfully illustrated celebration of empire three years ago, on the eve of the war on Iraq, had a simple directive from the spirit of Queen Victoria: it’s your turn, America. You’re an empire in fact — come out of the closet. Take up the white man’s burden (literally) and do the job!

Enjoy

I just like this picture

Ohh, those wacky German Scientists! What will they think of next?

A reason to dislike the French government

As if we needed one. Ha!

I don't normally think of the French in such terms because I don't normally think of the French. But their Ministry of Culture/Legislature's decision to create a law requiring Apple to open up it's proprietary system so that other companies may benefit from iTunes is retarded if only because it will prompt Apple to get out of the digital download biz in France.

However, while I was initially inclined to gripe about the French attempt to become culturally relevant via MP3 players, now I'm slightly curious. CNet says:

Under a draft law expected to be voted on in parliament on Thursday, consumers would be able to legally use software that converts digital content into any format.

It would no longer be illegal to crack digital rights management--the codes that protect music, films and other content--if it is to enable the conversion from one format to another, said Christian Vanneste, Rapporteur, a senior parliamentarian who helps guide law in France.

"It will force some proprietary systems to be opened up...You have to be able to download content and play it on any device," Vanneste told Reuters in a telephone interview Monday.

It will be interesting to see what becomes of this legal loophole for hacking DRM, will France become another haven for digital pirates?

(Sorry if any of this sounds forced, I'm tired of not posting stuff and this was the first thing that came to mind.)

Upright Bass

I'm sitting in a sound booth listening to a boring lecture on health services for adolescents, so I figured I'd pass the time by sharing a recent music development that has me very excited.

I just started playing upright bass in a new trio with a mandolinist and guitarist. Both of the other players are way better than me, which is both intimidating and inspiring. Luckily they are patient with my limited technical abilities and think I have good feel and timing, which they value more than fancy tricks. Geoff, the mandolinist, is the leader and primary composer and writes really cool music. It's right up my alley, i.e. heavily influenced by Edgar Meyer, Bela Fleck and Chris Thile. But best of all, they're both super cool people, especially Geoff.

We get along very well personally and have very similar thoughts and tastes for music. And I guess after being somewhat musically dormant for a year or so (in terms of playing with other people), it's really refreshing/exciting to meet someone who is not only fun to play with, but also isn't a dick.

Coolest video ever.

Oh my god.

I ♥ Milwaukee

Step 1: Lure an internationally renowned architect to build a career defining work

Step 2: Convince some of the oldest, wealthiest families in Wisconsin to pony up $300 million dollars

Step 3: Acquire an art collection worth tens of millions of dollars.

Step 4: Have a bunch of local radio stations promote “Martinifest” an all-you-can-drink-martini party at the art museum for $30 and have people vomit and climb on priceless works of art.

It’s almost as if the collective unconscious of the city is in Homer falsetto “Ooh look at me, I like looking at French paintings! Blahhhhh!”

Balance

In an effort to restore balance to the world by virtue of our youtube video selection, I feel compelled to follow Sully's lead link to this one. It'll make you feel great in a "Rudy" kind of way...

Chew toy

Karla and I were spending a lazy Saturday morning on youtube.com. Enjoy this treasure.

Offensive Cartoons + Flags = Profit!!!!

Am I the only one seeing this? Surely the creative minds of Hollywood could crank out a limitless amount of offensive fare and our once thriving textile industry could hum again in the production of Danish, Israeli and US flags. We could even have them made out of environmentally friendly hemp. Are we going to shortly find out a Bush crony is a flag magnate?

All Herzog, all the time

One day after news broke of his pulling Joaquin Phoenix from a wrecked car, Werner Herzog was shot in the belly during an interview with a journalist from the BBC. All was well, as it was an air rifle that got him, but his reaction is priceless:

HOLLYWOOD - German director Werner Herzog was shot by a crazed fan during a recent interview with the BBC.

The 63-year-old was chatting with movie journalist Mark Kermode about his documentary Grizzly Man, when a sniper opened fire with an air rifle.

Kermode explains, "I thought a firecracker had gone off.

"Herzog, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, said, 'Oh, someone is shooting at us. We must go.'

"He had a bruise the size of a snooker ball, with a hole in. [sic] He just carried on with the interview while bleeding quietly in his boxer shorts."

An unrepentant Herzog insisted, "It was not a significant bullet. I am not afraid."

Two notes: I'm not sure what Werner should be repentant for, and does anyone know what a snooker ball is?

Greatest Headline Ever

Half-naked bricklayer on a bender lunged at police with 4ft didgeridoo

Best quote: Afterwards Jones said: "The police took the didgeridoo away. I had only just learned how to play it."

Harry Whittman: Republican Martyr

So it’s occurred to some that the rather absurd amount of attention the Cheney shooting incident is getting is actually working out quite well for the Bush administration. Last week they had warrantless “spying”, an insanely huge budget, the ex-head of FEMA turning on Bush’s dept. of homeland security, Libby, and Joshua Micah Marshall’s fave, Abramoff, to deal with. Now all they have is an unfortunate accident to respond to….or is it?

What if Rove phoned Pappy Bush knowing that one of the aforementioned scandals will actually stick for a change and Pappy phoned in a favor? “Whitt, we were in the dubya-two together and I gotta ask you a favor. Will you take one for the team?” So Harry Whittington takes the shotgun blast, potentially dies, Cheney’s too distraught to continue in office (potentially dies?) and he becomes the scapegoat for the outcome any relevant scandals. Bush is free to select his desired successor and the GOP is free and clear for 2008. Is there anything Rove can’t do?

Or more likely, liberals in Washington and the media are just to dumb and undisciplined to not stop grasping at whatever new thing pops up. I seriously think Bush could get away with declaring martial law with a simple moon from the presidential Limo with these morons.

UPDATE: The media's giving the Bush administration another great week!?! Media Matters where are you? If this continues you're going to find yourself on a shipping container on the way to one of bossman Soro's eastern european smelting plants.

The sound of hard drives failing...

... is suprizingly soothing, at least when processed through a sampling program. Here's all 100 such tracks if you're so inclined.

Some background: This was a project wherein folks were encouraged to create a song using samples of drives in various stages of crapping out that were posted on the Hitachi website as part of a troubleshooting guide.

Shovelin' snow

While on one hand, I'd like to talk about how much the U.S. response to this whole "Cartoon War" pisses me off. I'm not gonna. I'm tired after shoveling a ridiculous amount of snow out of our driveway only to see another 5 inches accumulate on my newly cleared patch. Damn nor'easter.

In the end, I must say I learned a valuable lesson. That a cup and a half of vino is the perfect cap to 2 hours of shoveling.

OOH Burn!

Sullivan puts a lick on NYTimes:

This whole affair is a contrived, manufactured attempt by extremist Muslims to move the goal-posts on Western freedom. They're saying: we determine what you can and cannot print; and there's a difference between what Muslims can print and what infidels can print. And, so far, much of the West has gone along. In this, well-meaning American editors have been played for fools and cowards. Maybe if they'd covered the murders of von Gogh and Fortuyn more aggressively they'd have a better idea of what's going on; and stared down this intimidation. The whole business reminds me of the NYT's coverage of the Nazis in the 1930s. They didn't get the threat then. They don't get it now.

The same could be said about Europe:

"The press will give the Muslim world the message: We are aware of the consequences of exercising the right of free expression," EU Justice and Security Commissioner Franco Frattini said. "We can and we are ready to self-regulate that right."

Werner's to the rescue

I had passively learned that Joaquin Phoenix was in a car accident a few days ago, but it turns out that he was pulled from the wreckage by Werner Herzog. This quote makes a simple overturned car way more interesting:

"I remember this knocking on the passenger window," Phoenix said. "there was this German voice saying, 'Just relax.' There's the air bag, I can't see, and I'm saying, 'I'm fine. I am relaxed.'"

"Finally, I rolled down the window and this head pops inside. And he said, 'No, you're not.' And suddenly I said to myself, 'That's Werner Herzog!' "There's something so calming and beautiful about Werner Herzog's voice. I felt completely fine and safe. I climbed out."

But this blurb from a little piece in the Guardian made it even better:

But like all do-gooding superheroes, Herzog refused to stick around and take the glory. "I got out of the car and I said thank you," Phoenix said. "And he was gone."

I wish I could fully describe the delight this news has brought me, I'll just say that coffee spurted from my nose and leave it at that.

When the word fellatio becomes an adjective...

This is kind of a weird thing to be first post in a while, but... I couldn't resist. Plus, I needed something to get me doing this again.

So some background: Andrew Sullivan, a blogger/columnist sort that Andrew (from this blog) and I dig, described a biography on Bush by a conservative pundit named Fred Barnes as, "Fred Barnes' fellatial biography of Bush."

Let's ruminate on that one for a second, "Fred Barnes' fellatial biography of Bush"...

Wow. Leaving aside the accuracy of that brief description, that is a pretty kick ass one-word takedown. I'll leave the full analysis to one Arnold Zwicky at Language Log, from a post called "The vocabulary of toadying". Needless to say, it's an extremely comprehensive and thoughtful post on the use and meaning of the word fellatial. Which, I'm sure, has something to do with why I laughed so damn hard while reading it.

Superbowl fun fact

Detroit native Jerome Bettis was recently given the key to the city this week. Only three others have ever received this honor: James Earl Jones. Detroit neurosurgeon, Dr. Benjamin Carson, of Johns Hopkins University and Saddam Hussein.

Sullivan gets his points back

Man when he delivers he delivers.